So, I am trying to sort out what is going on upstairs...No, not in heaven, in my head. There is the realization that something is different. Not necessarily in a good way, but not in the worst ways either. Combat messes with you and the way you perceive...everyday life. I am so detached right now. Yeah, detached is a good word, because it isn't the same as disconnected. Sure, it is similar, but it is different enough that the difference feels Important. I can't seem to do more than recognize that I feel that way. The fact that I am writing this down feels good. It has been so long since I felt I could listen to the thoughts rattle around like marbles in my brain pan.
Have you noticed that there is a lot of noise in the world? Just on the radio the other day, they had a story/interview about a guy who records sounds. He was talking about how there is a shortage of quiet places where man-made sounds do not intrude. I totally agree. It is even hard to find a quiet place in my mind. There aren't minutes in the day it seems, where I can find a place to breathe, and think, and listen.
Peace. Peace to me is a quiet mountain stream with cool shade on the banks, listening to the songs of birds. Literally, I am a long way from the mountain stream. Figuratively, it feels only just out of my reach. I think I would just need a quiet spot, truly quiet, where cars, planes, generators, phones, fans, computers, and sometimes even voices can't reach. Not forever, just for a few minutes, maybe a half hour or more, but let me sort through the mess on my virtual desktop and file some notes that have been waiting for me to have a minute to pay them attention.
