Caution

I have been very cautious to post. There are many reasons.

Due to my experiences over the last 15 years (has it really been 15 years?), I am more guarded. It isn't that I have been burned, but I'll have to admit to taking counsel of fears of being burned.

There is a documentary available on Netflix about the famous life coach Tony Robbins titled, "Tony Robbins: I Am Not Your Guru." It is in my watchlist. I have never watched it, but it popped into my head just now and reminds me that I am cautious lest I myself, let alone anyone else, would think I should be more than a cheerleader.

I am cautious that while being friendly, people might expect me to be a better friend than I am, or even am capable of being...right now, in the future...ever?

I like looking at things from different perspectives. I am cautious that people are not that flexible to look with me. I am cautious about the assumptions they will make. I am cautious of the drain that explaining myself will make on my time.

I am cautious about my choices. I'm fond of saying that, "In life, there aren't many right or wrong choices. Mostly, there are just choices and the consequences." My dad taught me that it isn't wrong to tilt against windmills, a la Don Quixote, only to try and make sure to make the tilting count, or at least to tilt against the windmills that matter; suggesting that losing a fight for the right reasons makes it worth fighting. I am still cautious because I don't want to lose in a fight.

So, I have been very cautious. I changed. I don't like all of the changes. In some ways, it feels that parts of me went dormant. I would like some of them to wake up. If you visit here, don't be too hopeful. I am still very cautious, but even admitting that to myself seems like it could be a good sign.