I just called my wife last night (technically early this morning) and told her that I would be flying down to spend a last few days before I have to deploy. There was a distinct and marked change in her voice, an excitement of anticipation was present as she asked, "Really?" After three or four weeks of having to take care of the four of our kids all by herself and very little adult contact, the possibility that I would actually be around and not just on the other end of a long phone line must seem like a treat.
I know that I've been brooding, a little bit moody as I think about a year away from my family and the activities I will miss, the memories I won't experience; my youngest's first birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, my wife's birthday, my 13th anniversary (maybe that's a good thing? ::smile::), my second-youngest's third birthday, my oldest's 11th birthday, my second-oldest's 7th.
There is a part of me that seriously wonders whether these things are worth sacrificing for anything. Not the continued lip-service to freedom, patriotic responsibility, the flag, the fight against terrorism. Honestly, right now, none of these things motivate me. What motivates me is to feel the way my wife sounded on the phone when I told her that I was gonna fly home!
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