Travelogue

I bought a ticket to go visit my wife and kids and at the time I went to buy it, all the regular airlines had jacked their fares up to the price-gouging levels. That's pretty typical of an airline. They figure if you're gonna need to go anywhere on that short of a notice, you'll need to travel badly enough to pay whatever they're charging. Well, normally, they'd be right.

There is hope for those of you not interested in paying exorbitant prices for last-minute travel choices. The option that you should probably take a look at is American Trans-Air (ATA). When other airlines jack their ticket prices through the roof, ATA stays reasonable. It's not like a "cheap" airline, either. Airlines like Southwest and USAir that have turned perfectly good aircraft into cattle transports. ATA has normal seating and normal accomodations.

Okay, enough of the free commercial. The thing about this ATA flight is that it leaves at 6am from Pittsburgh, PA, which is a 7-hour drive from where I'm living (according to RandMcNally.com). And the ATA website says that I need to check in 2 hours early to make sure I can get through the security. So, I turn my schedule upside-down for three days (resetting my circadian rhythm), telling my body it's time to be awake when all the normal and sane people in the world are sleeping. And then sleeping like a lazy bum with nothing to do. Oh, wait, that's how I normally spend my weekends!

Add to all this, I'm a procrastinator. So, there I am, with my departure time from the house targeted for 8pm Monday night, it's two hours to go and I'm whipping through my stuff trying to be realistic about what to pack for 4 days in Arizona. Like it was really hard. The temperature in October ranges from the mid to high 80s all the way up to the low 100s. Not to mention that after living in Hawaii for two and a half years, I own practically no other clothes but shorts and t-shirts.

Believe it or not, I got out of the house 2 minutes late. A remarkable occurrence to be sure. I get on the highway, and I'm driving like a bat out of hell. Okay, it was a whopping 74.999 miles per hour. I figure it was fast enough that the cops weren't gonna pay attention to me. Only, I keep passing all the trucks. Crap! The fuzz must patrol this thing. Lucky for me, my friend lent me his radar detector. BEEEDEEEDEEEDEEEEP!!!

Man, that thing works! Saved me twice. Not that 75mph is Mach 1 or anything, but there is no rhyme or reason to cops giving tickets in my experience. The only requirement be that you are caught traveling faster than the speed limit. After all my hurry and padding the timeline with extra time, "fudge factor" as we call it in the military, I hit Pittsburgh with an hour and 45 minutes to burn. I need some coffee and a nap.